Managing stressful moments and meetings
Mayday, Mayday: This high-stress meeting has my nervous system in overdrive
How to better manage stressful moments and to regulate your nervous system out of fight or flight
The tension is brewing.
You can sense it, and so too does your nervous system.
Do you fight or take flight … or is there another option?
From battling saber-tooth tigers to that monthly stakeholder meeting. Once a lifesaver, fight-or-flight response can be an unwelcome guest in stressful moments. With workplace conflict and personality clashes taking up on average almost 3 hours of our week, it’s not only an emotional energy drainer but a time spender.
Seeing how stress and strong leadership personalities impacted their younger team, a recent client wanted practical tools to support their team in these moments.
Here’s the tools and exercises we shared to nurture their nervous systems in these high-stake or stressful moments.
From panic to poise: Ways to get grounded before meetings and high-stress interactions
Here, it’s not about getting ready for the fight or knowing when to give into flight. It’s about understanding you and your own internal landscape.
What pressure are you predicting before it happens?
What internal triggers make you snap or hit a nerve?
Is it feeling disrespected or unheard?
Perhaps a particular tone that just gets under your skin?
Is it a particular topic or approach?
Find the feeling and name it, without judgement. Bring yourself to the score you need. To go from a 12/10 to the ideal 8/10 slow down from a fight that isn’t happening with coherent breathing.
Is there a narrative driving it?
Our stories – how we got here, what experiences shaped us, and what our childhood taught us – have a funny way of taking over the adult bus sometimes. Everything seems under control, and suddenly that internal story, a threat, has taken over the wheel, sending us somewhere we don’t want to go.
Ask yourself: What stories are driving my response?
Is the urgency driven by my need to please people?
Is it the need to be perfect?
A fear of being wrong or being made to look like a fool?
What is your default response when stress enters the room?
Do you try to avoid it?
Shut it down?
Distract yourself?
Becomes fight for control again?
Remember the bus - which story is driving - name the story - ah it’s not me, it’s an old story that is not workable at this moment.
It’s not about labelling a response right or wrong, but rather taking note of how that trigger and narrative takes hold in the moment.
How this helps you prepare for high-stress moments
If you don’t know what’s hijacking your attention, you can’t steer effectively under pressure. Meet the stories and resist the urge for judgement, and observe yourself kindly to find the unhelpful behaviours.
Scrambling last minute or registering a threat?
Pause. Ask:
What actually pulled your focus?
What story or feeling hijacked your time?
What signs showed up? (Tension? Over-checking your calendar? Snappy emails?)
Need to re-centre? Make these moments matter with grounding exercises
Walk stairs or bounce in place (boosts blood flow)
Alternate nasal breathing = clarity
Use your RAS - pause and visualise yourself in the meeting in your discovery zone
Coherent breathing or Box breathing or Humming
Walk with awareness or shake (adrenaline needs to move)
Present and poised: Finding your calm during a meeting moment
Your heart is racing and your adrenaline is rising, and you’re not sure how you got there.
Pause.
What’s hijacking your focus or is your inner critic telling you?
Think back to your triggers, internal stories, and default responses. At times they may have appeared to look, sound, or present as something else, but in reality your mind had already made the prediction and connected the dots - whispering to your nervous system: ‘It’s coming. Be ready.’
Use your breath to stay grounded
This could be box breathing or simply focusing on your breath.Notice. Name. Open.
Notice what’s coming up, name it, and open engagement with it (hello anxiety … welcome fear)Seek, don’t spiral
Press your feet into the ground - notice you are a body you can control now let your inner voice coach “OK [insert our name] what’s a workable response to this?”, a small shift in choice that will make a meaningful difference.
The cooldown: Post-meeting habits to decompress, release and reset
You’ve left the room and avoided an old story taking control, but the nervous energy, buzz or perhaps panic is still under the surface. What do you do?
Score it out of 10.
(with 10 amped up and ready to jump into fight or flight in an instant!)
Sounds simple, but this is a great way to check in with your nervous system and take steps to give it what it needs.
1-8: Pause.
What feeling is the loudest in the room or do you feel most in your body?
Do you feel ashamed or judged?
Perhaps frustrated, unheard or shutdown?
Or maybe it’s disconnected or unhappy?
If you’re not sure or feel like you can’t put your finger on it, move your body! Movement lets your emotions move too.
Still stuck? Try a worry or contribution diary, talking to a trusted colleague or friend, or bring it up in our next coaching session to dive into the details.
+8: It’s down-regulation time.
Our body and mind might need some help winding down. Try:
Then, check in again. If under 8, then jump to the exercises above.
Building these new habits can be a challenge. If these in-the-moment skills feel out of reach, a mental performance coach like myself can help you uncover and master the tools you need to consistently show up as your best self.
Let's talk about what that could look like for you.
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