It’s not done until it’s perfect: Getting caught in perfectionism’s web.
My client (a Head of Department) sat at her desk, the laptop screen a mirror to her exhaustion. Behind her, the kitchen beckoned — a safe place for the adrenaline to run. When high-pressure projects landed, she’d feel an invisible force – like two negative magnetic charges – pushing her away from the keyboard. Her mind would go blank, and she knew the urge to procrastinate and the urge to sweep had won.
I asked her to sit in that feeling of magnetic repulsion. Her hands lifted from the keys, her mind going blank — the pressure pushing her toward the safe silence of the kitchen, ready to sweep. It was pure avoidance, driven by an invisible fear. I simply asked: "Who taught you to speak to yourself like that?"
I held the silence until the tension became unbearable.
"Who taught you to speak to yourself like that?"
She didn't hesitate this time. "My father. 'Don't bring it to me until it’s perfect,'" she whispered. She froze, wide-eyed with realisation.
The dots were connecting.
Days later I get a message. Her floors had at least a day’s worth of dust and her work was underway. She’d let her hands stay on the keyboard, taking deep, deliberate breaths, choosing a safe mind over a perfect one.
That breakthrough shifted her focus from seeking perfection to ensuring consistency. She stopped wasting energy on avoidance – the sweeping – and learned that a safe mind allows for better, more sustained excellence, instead of relying on adrenaline to perform.
What can you take away from this?
Discipline comes with discomfort.
Being consistent with something that’s enjoyable is not discipline.
That’s pleasure.
This leader came to me because she was annoyed at her stuckness and the lack of logic.
What is the sweet spot between boredom and fear?
What strengths have you learnt to hide?
Pause and check in. You don’t need to know the deep story, but be with what is present in your awareness.
Your thoughts, feelings: are they pleasant, neutral or unpleasant? And can you do it anyway?
“What does it feel like to really, really want something you have decided is unwanted?”
Visualise your urge as a wave. Ride the urge wave. Trust you can ride the wave and that it will pass. Your inner dialogue might say “ok [insert your name], what are you going to do now.”
And let it.
Curve ball: - procrastination may not be procrastination, it may be lack of break.
If you are feeling uninspired or like the problem can’t be solved, do something adjacent. Allow yourself time to do another hobby or low demand on the brain for 20 mins, or take a brain break.
The core lesson here is realising that the pursuit of perfection often forces us into procrastination and avoidance. My client's breakthrough was choosing the creative innovation of a safe mind over the pressure of a perfect one. Real power comes from staying present, aware and grounded, rather than being pulled by invisible adrenaline rushes.
Not sure what’s got you stuck, but you know you need change?
Start your own journey with a quick check-in.